And It Hits The Fan
by Kat Potter71
Summary: Undergoing Editing, has NOT been discontinued!PreHPB: No Spoilers!Harry decideds he's had enough and does things his way. Snape's a vamp hungering for his mate. HarrySnape, HarryOC, Romance, Angst, MM,Lemon,Yaoi,Anal,Oral,Rim,Slash,Solo,Toys,VS,bmod
1. Chapter 1 : It Starts

And It Hits The Fan

Kat Potter

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in the Potter-verse, so ergo; I am not making any money from this.

An: Now Beta'ed!

Chapter 1 – It starts

In a dark room at 4 Privet Drive, at 4 in the morning, there sat a boy on his bed. He had jet-black, all-over-the-place hair, sparkling emerald eyes and a very famous, lightning shaped scar. His name was Harry Potter. This Harry Potter was unusual in several ways. He was an orphan. He lived with his Aunt and Uncle who despised him. He spent 10 years of his life living in a cupboard. And he was a wizard. That's right, a wand-waving wizard. But that wasn't even enough. On no, the fates decided that he should be more unusual. See, even in the wizarding world he's not normal. He's the-boy-who-lived. The one that defeated the Dark Lord at the tender age of one. Of course, that wasn't the last Harry saw of Mr. I'm-an-Evil-Dark-Lord-so-fear-me. Nope, he had met him again, five times. And out of those five times, twice people had died. First Cedric Diggory, then Sirius Black, his Godfather, who was supposed to free him from those wretched Dursley's, just as soon as they caught that stupid rat, Pettigrew. The year after Sirius' death had been horrible. He had been so terribly depressed, that he had barely been able to go on. He had, for the most part, retreated into his shell. Oh, he continued playing Quidditch and studied fairly well, but he seemed to just lose his spark. No joking around with Ron. No horseplay in the dorm with the other guys. He even stopped rising to Malfoy's bait, just ignored him. At first this had outraged Malfoy, that he should be ignored, but when Harry didn't respond to even the most outrageous baiting, he slowly lost interest. Something had to be done, something that would shake him out of his slump. Of course, what else but another round with Old Moldie Voldie.

Harry had decided to go to Hogsmeade alone. It was just after exams and he just wanted to get out and think. That, and Ron and 'Mione had just gotten together and he figured that they'd probably like some alone time together, so he wandered through Hogsmeade, trying to get his mind off things. Things like Voldie, and Sirius and it worked, in a way. His mind was so far off that he didn't notice he'd wandered into a seedy part of Hogsmeade. Didn't notice the Death Eater in front of him until the bright red light caught his eye a second before he was stunned. When he had woken up, he had been in what looked like a torture chamber with the Dark Lord himself. Then the torturing had begun. Harry got to know whips, chains, spikes, red hot pokers, taunts about him and his loved ones, curses about as dark as they could get, just about anything Voldie and his Death Eaters could think of. The days passed in a haze of pain. Not that Harry actually knew how much time had passed. Every now and then, he would pass out from the pain, only to wake up again, either naturally or magically, so to him it felt like an eternity had passed. Later he was told that it had only been about 3 days. During one session, with the bitch, Bellatrix Lestrange, he had been about to pass out, when out of the corner of his eye, he saw something move. He passed out before he could find out what it was, but when he woke up, he found himself to be staring at the white ceiling of the infirmary.

Once again Harry's life changed drastically. To put it bluntly, he had had _enough_. The stupid fucker had put him through too much, he just wasn't going to take it anymore. He wasn't going to take any shit from anybody. Not Voldie or Dumbledore or his fucking Uncle. He was going to take his life into his own hands. To Harry, this meant it was time to train. Now more time to waste fucking around, so as soon as he got home, he started studying. He completely memorized his old textbooks and by the time his birthday came around, it was time to expand his knowledge into different realms. In fact, that time had just come around about 4 hours ago. He just had some beef to pick with his Uncle and then he could leave.

Now you might be wondering why a 17-year-old boy would be awake in the middle of the night, especially considering that most boys that age enjoy sleeping very much. As usual, it was a dream that woke Harry up. He was used to having dreams. Most of them would rather be classified as a nightmare. Most of those were visions from Voldemort, visions of torture and murder. Those that weren't were usually recurring nightmares revolving around the horrors he'd seen. Cedric's death, Sirius's death, his parent's death, and the torture at the hands of Voldemort only about a month ago. But not tonight. Recently he had been having dreams of an entirely different kind, an erotic kind. Now, he knew that he was a teenage boy and that it was normal for him to have these dreams, but still, did he have to have them about him? The latest dream had been especially intense and it gave him a hard on just thinking about it...

The dream had been full of hands stroking him everywhere and silken ties and blindfolds, his lover touching what felt like every single nerve in his body. The feeling of being so full had been wonderful, if only he could get that feeling in real life. And even though he had been blindfolded, he knew who his lover was, the dark and mysterious man he had, for some reason, developed feelings for. Severus Snape.

Harry had awoken screaming that name, covered in his seed. As he thought about it, his hand slid down his torso and stroked his member. He stroked it harder and harder and was soon pumping furiously with need until finally, he came into his hand, spreading his seed for the second time that night.

This really was ridiculous. For heaven's sake, he was fantasizing over his greasy git, snarky bastard, potions professor. _Don't forget dead sexy_, a little voice in his head added. All right, the man might be a tad bit sexy, but still, he was his _potions professor_! There was no way anything could happen between them because, let's face it, the man despised him. Not to mention that fact that it would be a teacher/student relationship, which was highly frowned upon. So Harry just had to get his mind on other things and forget about Snape.

Harry finally pushed away all thoughts of his professor and concentrated on his plans for the day. His Uncle would be up soon and he had to be ready when he was, so he went and got dressed and started changing his appearance since it would obviously be a problem for him to go as Harry Potter. First he changed his hair. He lengthened it by a few inches and changed the color into a dirty blonde. He then changed his eye color to a piercing blue and placed a temporary sight correcting charm on his eyes. He also changed his skin color to a much lighter tone. His own was very tanned from working outside a lot. He tied a black bandanna round his forehead so his scar wouldn't show as no amount of concealment charms would work on it. He then sat on his bed, twirling his wand in a rather threatening way.

So, here he was, waiting for morning to come so he could finally get his revenge on his fucking Uncle for the horrible life he'd had to live here at the Dursleys. And maybe his Aunt and Cousin too. Oh, this had the potential to be very entertaining.

_Finally_! he thought to himself, as he heard his Uncle getting up and practically thunder down the stairs. _The stupid lump is up at last. Now he's walking into the kitchen. And 3...2...1..._

"Boy! Get down here and make us our breakfast, you ungrateful piece of shit!"

He could hear his Uncle thundering up the stairs so he could punish his Nephew for not being fast enough. Vernon Dursley tore open the door to Harry's bedroom. A smarter man might have been a bit worried about the grin that was plastered onto Harry's face, but unfortunately, for Vernon that is, he wasn't smart in the least.

"Didn't you hear what I said! Get the fuck into the kitchen and make breakfast before Dudley starves to death!"

Harry mentally snorted before he answered. "No."

For a moment his Uncle stared at him. "What did you say?"

"I said no. I'm not going to make you or your disgustingly fat son breakfast. Or your toothpick wife for that matter, though Merlin knows she could use some fattening. Unlike you two. And there's nothing you can do to make me."

He could see his Uncle turning purple in the face. "How dare you insult me and my family! You little freak. I'll teach you to..." He had just noticed that Harry was still twirling his wand between his fingers. "Get that freakish thing out of my sight! You think you can threaten me! You can't use magic, you said so before. The nuthouse will kick you out!"

Harry chuckled softly. For a reason that Vernon couldn't fathom, the sound sent a shiver up his spine.

"Sorry to burst your bubble, dear Uncle but, no, the 'nuthouse' will not be expelling me anytime soon. First of all, I am too important in this war to be expelled. You remember the bastard that killed my parents?" Vernon inclined his head ever so slightly. "Well, it turns out that I have to kill him. Therefore, they need me to learn everything I can before I meet him or the whole world is doomed. That includes you, by the way." He smirked, in a rather Malfoy-ish way, making his Uncle swallow rather hard. _I can't believe I used a Malfoy trick. If he ever finds out, I'll never hear the end of it,_ he thought. "And second, in the wizarding world, I'm of age, so I can use magic whenever I want. And believe me, I won't hesitate if I feel the need."

"O-on second thought I'd better ask Petty to make breakfast today. Will you be j-joining us?"

"No, I'm going shopping. I don't know when I'll be back." And he walked out of his room, down the stairs, out the door and apparated to Diagon Alley with a loud 'Crack!'

His Uncle harrumphed before muttering, "always knew it was him that made that noise. Freak."

Tbc…

An: Ok, since I got booted off of this site 'cuz the dream scene was too graphic, I toned it down. So, is that good or is it still too much? Plz tell me so I can fix it, I don't want to get deleted again. :(

And as always, Reviews are very much welcome!


	2. Chapter 2 : About a Vampire

And It Hits The Fan

Kat Potter

Disclaimer: Hmm, Am I a rich, British, single mom? Hmm, no I'm not J.K. Rowling, so… Nope, HP does not belong to me. I'm not getting any money out of this. I'm just a poor student, writing Harry smut to get her kicks. ;)

An: Now Beta'ed

Chapter 2 : About a Vampire

Severus Snape didn't appear to most to be a caring man. In fact, most people hated him, to put it lightly. He had the potential to be a horrible, spiteful, vindictive, evil creature, but only a very select few people knew the reason behind it. See, Severus Snape wasn't actually a man, or rather he wasn't human. He was a creature of the night, a blood-drinker, a vampire. Most people's impression of a vampire was an evil creature that only lived to cause others pain, and in some cases this was true. And if it were found out that Severus was a vampire then most would believe that he would fall into that category. Indeed, there had long been speculation among the students of Hogwarts that Snape was a vampire, with his sallow skin and evil temper.

Now the truth was that there were two ways that a vampire could turn, as they say, evil and it all centered around a vampires mate. Vampires, as with many humanoid magical creatures, had mates. Their one and only that could make them complete. Their other half. Each magical creature has a different way of finding his or her mate. Veelas find them by their scent. Werewolves bond with the first person or creature they mate with. Vampires, however, have a sixth sense about these things. They know who their mate is as soon as they see them. To turn a vampire evil, they either have to lose their mate or their mate is evil itself. Of course, if the mate is good, then the vampire is good as well.

Severus Snape knew who his mate was. He had known for about 16 years, but he hadn't mated with him and this may well have accounted for his very well known temper. The fact was that Severus' mate was someone who was quite a bit younger than him. He had actually first seen him when he was only a year old. The knowledge that he would have to wait till the boy grew up had tortured Severus. Then of course there was the fact that the boy was rather famous. Being mated to the-boy-who-lived wasn't going to be easy, because it was going to happen, of that Severus was sure. He was just biding his time. He was, in fact, waiting for the Dark Lord to be conquered, as he no doubt would be. Severus had faith in his mate-to-be. He would finish off Snake Face and then they could be together forever. Lately, though, it had been getting harder to bear. Harry would be 17 in a few days and so, legally, he could have him, but it was just too dangerous for both of them, Harry being the-boy-who-lived and him being a Death Eater spy, there was too much at risk, so he would just have to wait. He just hoped it wouldn't be too much longer.

.:oOo:.

Severus was on his way to see the Headmaster. He had called him for an impromptu meeting, which meant that it probably wasn't serious.

He finally got to the Gargoyle Statue. "Fainting Fancies" The gargoyle jumped out of his way and he made his way upstairs. _Barmy, old coot_, he thought. _Only he would have something like that as a password_. He finally came to the wooden door at the top of the stairs. He lifted his hand to knock at the door when he heard a voice call out from within.

"Come in, Severus my boy." Severus sighed. _I have to find out how he does that, it's **so** annoying. And that sounded so whiny. Merlin, I'm losing it._ He made his way into Dumbledore's office and sat down in a chair in front of his desk.

"Tea, Severus? Or perhaps some lemon drops?" the Headmaster inquired.

"Tea, thank you. You know I'm not much for sweets." Severus took his cup and stirred the tea around a bit. He looked at the Headmaster with a raised eyebrow as he sipped at his tea.

"So how are you faring, Severus? How is life treating you?"

"Oh, I'm just peachy, thank you. Life's just great. I'm a vampire without a mate or rather I can't mate with him. More likely than not I won't ever be able to since he hates me almost as much as he hates the Dark Lord." He sighed and sank down into his chair, staring at his cup.

"Ah, I see. Well, it was exactly that which I wanted to talk to you about." Severus looked up at him sharply. "What do you mean?"

"Well, as I'm sure you know, it's Harry's birthday today. Therefore he is seventeen and of legal age. I was wondering if you would like to go check on him. Just make sure that he is all right. Perhaps you could start talking to him, try to win him over. It won't hurt for you to be friends."

"You know how I feel about this, Albus. It is too dangerous. If the Dark Lord found out about us he would use it to exploit us."

"Yes, yes, quite, but I have a gut feeling that the time has come for you and your mate."

Severus stared at him pensively for a few moments. "I should get going. Muggles don't like it if you come at some unusual hour." With that, he swept out the room. Albus just watched him go with a twinkle in his eyes.

.:oOo:.

Severus apparated to an alley a bit of a way from 4 Privet Drive, checked to see if there were any muggles around and when he didn't see any, made his way to Harry's house. When he got there a fat, purple-faced man, which he assumed to be Harry's Uncle, answered the door.

"May I help you?" Vernon asked gruffly.

"Quite. I'm looking for Harry Potter. He lives here doesn't he?" Severus inquired.

At the mention of Harry, his eyes bulged and he looked frantically for a way to get away from this very intimidating man. "The boy's not here at the moment."

Severus narrowed his eyes at the man as he said through clenched teeth, "What. Do. You. Mean. He's. Not. Here? Aren't you supposed to be his guardian?"

"He threatened me and my family! What was I supposed to do? In case you haven't noticed, I can't do magic! Obviously your kind has decided he can use magic around here, so we have no power to stop him doing what he wants!"

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose as he took a deep breath. It seemed his mate was getting into trouble as per usual. Why did this not surprise him?

"Do you have any idea where he went? It is very important we find him."

"The boy breaking rules, huh? Doesn't surprise me. What with his parents being who…" Vernon decided it was best to stop this line of thinking, with the glare that Severus was sending him, it would probably be best for his health. "Ahem, yes well, he mentioned something about shopping. He made that weird noise that your kind makes when he left."

"What do mean? What kind of noise?"

"Oh, some really big crack sound. Sounds like a car backfiring, if you ask me."

"Hmmm…" Severus seemed to ponder this for a minute. "Well, thank you for your time."

"Um, no problem."

Severus made his way back to the alley. _So the boy apparated somewhere. Although he could have gone somewhere muggle, it's more likely it was a wizard populated area. Well, I've gotta start somewhere. Might as well start with Diagon Alley. Why does it not surprise me he has gotten himself into trouble as soon as he was allowed to apparate? Scratch that, I'm surprised he didn't do it sooner._

As soon as he got into the alley, he apparated away.

.:oOo:.

As luck would have it, the first thing that Severus saw when he apparated into Diagon Alley was Harry Potter, although he looked a bit different than when he last saw him. Severus grabbed his arm and swung him around to face him.

"Potter! What are you doing here? And… what have you done to your face?" Severus looked at the ring that was hanging from the left corner of Harry's lower lip and his right ear.

"That's none of your business! Now leave me alone!" With that he tugged his arm out of Severus's grip and apparated away before Severus could do anything.

Tbc…


	3. Chapter 3 : A Shopping We Will Go!

**And It Hits The Fan**

**Kat Potter**

**A/N: This chapter takes place about the same time as the last.**

Disclaimer: Do you really think I'm making any money from this? I wish…so, nope, no money being made.

An: This chapter is dedicated to my betas and the wonderful DamnedXFate for inspiring me to overcome my writer's block.

"**blabla**" : parseltongue

**Chapter 3 : A Shopping We Will Go!**

When Harry apparated into Diagon Alley, he adjusted his bandana to make sure his scar didn't show and headed out. Even if he didn't look like himself, his scar was easily recognizable and he didn't want that.

He made his way through the throng of people, making his way towards the snowy white building with burnished bronze doors that towered over the other buildings. Before he could do any shopping he had to get money. So he climbed up the white stone steps and headed in, prepared to tackle any problems with his identity, as he was sure there would be.

As soon as he saw a free goblin, he hurried towards him. Luckily, this one was at the end of the hall, so if there was a problem, he wouldn't draw as much attention. He approached the goblin, who looked a bit friendlier than any goblin he had ever seen. Mind you, only a teeny, weeny, tiny bit.

"Good morning, sir," the goblin said.

"Morning. I need to remove some gold from my vault. Here's the key." The goblin took the key and looked at it for a moment. He seemed to be a tad upset.

"I'm sorry, sir, but there is no way that this is your key," he told Harry.

"And why would that be?"

"Because this key belongs to Ha-" Harry reached out and put his hand across his mouth. "I'm sorry for doing that but I can't allow you to say that name out loud," Harry blurted out. "You see, I am – that person. So, I'm rather keen not to be noticed."

"I understand, sir, but I'm afraid that I can't let you in without any proof of who you are," the goblin said.

Harry huffed. "Fine!" He looked around and when no one was looking, he lifted his bandana to reveal his scar. "Happy?"

"Quite. Baldrik!" He called to a nearby goblin. "Take Mr. – erm – _Brown_ to his vault. Here's the key."

The goblin looked at it. "But that's the P-"

"_Mr. Brown_ would like to take care of his business discreetly. Are we clear?"

"Crystal. This way Mr. Brown."

Baldrik took Harry down to his vault, where he removed quite a large pile of gold, along with a bit of silver and bronze. He then returned to the surface. Harry never much liked the trip down to the vault. Actually, he just never really liked dark places. Living in a cupboard will do that to you. He was always relieved when he got back out into the sun. _Oh, how I love the Sun_, he thought. _Now where should I start my little shopping spree. Hmm…where to start…where…to…start…Well, since my clothes are seriously below standard, especially for someone who has my amount of money, I think I will start by getting myself some robes. Yes, that sounds nice._

So Harry headed toward Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions. Heading into the shop, he met Madam Malkin, who was once again dressed all in mauve.

"Good morning, young sir, can I be of any assistance?" she asked with a politely interested look on her face.

"Yes, I'm renewing my wardrobe. So I'll have three Hogwarts uniforms to start with. Then I think I'll need at least one formal robe. I'm out to spend cash today so show me your finest materials. I also want some casual robes."

"Oh, yes, sir, we'll get started right away. I'm afraid you'll have to wait a few days for such a large order but we can decide on materials and styles and such. Let's start with your measurements."

Harry headed into a fitting room and stripped down to his boxers and a white wifebeater he was wearing under his robes. As soon as he stepped up onto the stool, a tape measure appeared and began measuring him in the weirdest places. From measuring the length of his nose to the space between his toes to his armpits, it wiggled itself into the strangest places.

"All right, sir, we have that, you may get dressed."

When Harry stepped out, Madam Malkin ushered him over to the counter where they studied endless different samples for both formal and casual robes. After about an hour, he had finally picked out what he liked. All of a sudden he got an idea.

"Madam, you don't happen to stock robes that aurors use, do you?"

"Well, yes, actually I do. But before you say anything, I'm not allowed to sell it to you. Only aurors are allowed to purchase them and for good reason."

Harry thought this over. He pretty much figured he could persuade her to sell some of these special robes to Harry Potter. But that was exactly what he didn't want. He didn't want to use his fame to make people do things for him. But for once he thought he might just overlook that policy. After all, he was going to be battling Death Eaters very soon, most likely. Best to be prepared.

"Is there someplace where we can talk privately, Madam?"

"Of course, this way." She led him to a back room that looked more like a kitchen than anything else. It was obvious that this was where employees spent their coffee breaks. As soon as they got there Harry set up a silencing charm around them, eager not to be heard.

.:oOo:.

_Stupid bitch. Doesn't she get it! I have to battle old Tommy-boy and his stupid Grim Reaper Munchers and so I have a perfectly good reason to bend the rules a bit but does she realize this? NOOOOOoooo!_ Harry sighed to himself. _Note to self do not ever say that aloud. Sounds very teenage girlish. Something we do not want. Well, no matter. I'll just have to acquire them somewhere else even if that someplace is somewhat illegal. All right, so that means Knockturn Alley. May as well see if I can't find some interesting books there as well._ So Harry made his way toward the creepy looking place that he had only been once before. As he walked through the dusty, grimy looking alley, he came upon a place that he thought looked acceptable.

_Des Livres de Morgan le Fey. Sounds dark enough, considering Morgana was Merlin's enemy. I should be able to find some interesting books here._

So Harry entered the dark and dusty bookshop. As he stepped inside, he heard a faint tinkling deep inside the shop. It was crammed full of books and by the looks they were all very dark. _Well, let's see what we can find here_.

So, Harry started browsing through the books. They differed in their ages, some looked to be ancient while others seemed brand new. But they all had one thing in common. They were all rather dark. Some of them were probably only considered dark because of the stupid ministry's prejudices, like _'A Parselmouth's guide to Snakes'_. Harry took the book down from the shelf and started flipping through it.

"Can I help you, young man?" a raspy voice breathed into his ear.

"Ahhhh!" Harry jumped about a foot into the air. "Shit! You scared the living daylights out of me!"

A thin, old man with papery skin stood behind him. "My apologies, sir. T'was not my intention."

"S'all right," breathed Harry as he bent over his knees and caught his breath.

"Well, is there anything I can help you with?"

"Ermm… well I was kinda looking for some books on, erm, the Dark Arts," said Harry with an almost-sheepish look on his face. _Wait a minute, Harry Potter! There's no reason to look ashamed! You need those books! Now wipe that look off your face and pull yourself together!_ His inner voice sounded like an odd mix of Molly Weasley and Moody. _Now there's a scary thought_. And with that thought floating in his head, he pasted a confident look on his face and looked the old man straight in the eyes. "So, do you have any?"

"Why, of course," the old man wheezed. "What type of Dark Arts are you interested in?"

"Well, since unfortunately I have been surrounded by people who, shall we say, don't approve of dark magic, I need a basic coverage of them."

"All right, young man. Come with me and we'll see what we can find." The withered old man hobbled off into the store and Harry ambled after him.

The man stopped in front of some shelves. "These here are on blood magic. This is very powerful magic and that is why the ministry outlawed it centuries ago, though a lot of it isn't evil in any way. However, many of our history's darkest wizards used blood magic, so I suppose they had their reasons." He ran his finger over a few of them until he stopped on one and pulled it out. "This one here is rather basic." Harry looked at the title. '_The secret of Blood Magic'. _"Of course, you realize that Blood magic itself is very complex. Tread carefully if you decide to use any of it." He reached out for another book. "This one here is a bit more complex and should be a good companion to that one." Harry took both the books and added them, with _'A Parselmouth's' guide to Snakes'_, to his growing pile.

The man ambled off once more and stopped in front of another shelf. "Here are some books on curses, some more twisted than others. I think I will refrain from handing you the more gruesome ones. One must take these things step by step." He pulled out a few books and handed them to Harry as he told him about their content. "This one is on some of the mildest curses that are banned. This one is an accompaniment to the other, though it has more advanced curses. And this one is on ancient curses from various ancient cultures, including Egyptian and Chinese."

By this time, Harry was struggling a bit to hold up the pile. He hoped that there wasn't a lot more to these dark arts, yet he wouldn't miss out on any of it for the world. Fortunately, the shopkeeper seemed to have read his mind.

"One last thing that I want you to have." The man hobbled into the furthest corner of the shop where the counter was. Harry felt a little confused. Hadn't the old man mentioned something more? The man then hobbled right past the counter and through a door Harry hadn't noticed before. After a little while the old man returned with a thick, tattered old book. "This here book is very valuable. It is on the old, forgotten art of wandless magic. I have a feeling you are going to need it." The man gave him a pointed look. "It also has some techniques that would be useful for learning Occlumency. So I recommend you go to Flourish and Blott's and find yourself a book on both Occlumency and Legilimency." He charged Harry for his purchases, then promptly turned around and went back into the room behind the counter, without another word.

_That is one very strange man_, Harry thought as he made his way out of the store.

.:oOo:.

At this point Harry was feeling decidedly hungry, so he made his way back to the Leaky Cauldron for a bite to eat. When he got there he sat down at a table that was in the corner so as not to be noticed and pulled out his book of snakes, charming the front cover to look like a book on practical joke charms and hexes. He was well immersed in it when he heard someone walk up to him. Looking up he realized it was Tom, the innkeeper.

"Good day, sir. What would you like to have?" the old, toothless walnut questioned him.

"I think I'll have the roast chicken with a jacket potato and gravy. And a butterbeer to drink," replied Harry, barely stopping himself from saying the innkeeper's name. Tom wouldn't recognize him with his current look and he rather preferred to keep it that way at the moment.

"Very well, sir. It will be ready in a moment."

Harry returned to his book and in a few moments his meal had appeared at his table. He then promptly dug in with a gusto that Ron would have been proud of. After a few bites at lighting speed he decided to slow down so as to enjoy his food and avoid indigestion. When he had finished his plate, he signaled Tom and ordered a plate of apple pie for desert and another butterbeer.

So it was with an extremely full tummy that Harry Potter exited the Leaky Cauldron and headed for the Magical Menagerie. He knew Hedwig wouldn't talk to him for a week if he came back from Diagon Alley without buying her some owl treats. Therefore, Harry set out to the other side of Diagon Alley to where the Menagerie was.

The Magical Menagerie was just as loud, cramped and smelly as the last time that he had been here. As the witch behind the counter was busy with another customer, Harry used his time to look around the shop at the various creatures there. There were, as before, cats of every color imaginable, along with a jarvey, which immediately started cussing at him, a cage of nifflers, another filled with ravens and other assorted creatures. But the thing that really caught Harry's eye was a strikingly green snake that was perched on a tree branch in his cage in the corner. As Harry slowly walked closer, the snake turned to look at him, with a piercing stare.

"**Hello**," Harry said when he reached the cage.

"**Hmm, a human that speakss my tongue. Very interesting**." The snake seemed to be sizing him up.

Harry decided to take the first step. "**Hello, my namesound is Harry. What is yours?**"

The snake seemed to have decided he was interesting enough to talk to. "**My namesound is Smaragdus, but you may call me Smarg. My namesound means emerald one. Does your namesound have a meaning?**"

Harry chuckled. "**It probably does, but I do not know it. I am wondering, Smarrg, are you content here in this store?**"

"**This cage is rather small, and not very comfortable. Are you offering to free me?**" The snake eyed him with a hopeful look.

"**I am offering to let you come live with me. But you are venomous, are you not? If you are, then you must swear to never bite anyone. Do you agree to these terms?**"

Smarg seemed to ponder this for a moment before deciding. "**This is quite agreeable to me. I think it will be much more comfortable not to live in this cage anymore. As for being venomous, yes, I am, but I do swear to never bite any human as long as they do not threaten you. Also, I am a magical serpent and therefore I have the antidote to the venom as well as the venom itself. However, my venom is very potent so if the human who is bitten is to be saved, I must bite him again almost immediately to administer the anti-venom. Are we in agreement?**"

A small grin appeared on Harry's face. "**We are. Wait a moment while I get some treats for my owl and then I will pay for both the treats and you, following which we will leave**."

So, Harry picked up the owl treats from the rack and walked over to the counter to pay. The witch behind the counter rang his purchase up. "Will there be anything else, sir?"

"Yes, I want that green snake over in the cage in the corner."

The witch looked him over. "Oh, aren't you a little young to be a Potions Master?"

"What?" Harry snapped. "What are you talking about?"

"The snakes bought here are usually bought by Potions Masters who are looking for fresh ingredients."

The look on Harry's face darkened. "I'm not going to be slaughtering that beautiful creature. I want it as a pet." Harry smirked at her. He knew what was running through the witches mind. It was a well known fact that Dark Wizards kept snakes as pet, the most famous being Voldemort himself. It was highly unusual for other wizards to keep snakes.

The witch, unsurprisingly stared at him. "Sir, I you sure? That snake is highly poisonous and very dangerous. I have to make sure you can handle it."

Harry smirked at her. "Madame, my family has a very well kept secret." He indicated that she move closer and whispered. "We know a spell that enables one to speak to snakes." Her eyes widened. "Therefore, I would not have any problem controlling him."

The witch nodded to herself. "I assume that you will be wanting to buy food for him, then? And a cage?"

Harry nodded with a neutral expression back on his face. "Yes, I want the largest cage you have and what sort of solution do you have for food for a snake of his size?"

"Well, as for the cage, we have a very large one that can fit many snakes if needed but would be perfect for a snake like him, It can fit lots of foliage for him to hide in. As for feeding, you do know what snakes like these feed on?"

Harry gave her a superior look. "Of, course small animals, like birds, frogs, lizards and small mammals."

"Very good. I'm afraid most of his diet will have to consist of mice, as that is what I have in stock most of the time. However, every now and then I get some lizards and frogs and such. So, whenever I can I will send this to you."

"And how do you propose to send these animals to me? I can not afford to have owls flying to and fro all the time."

The witch smiled at him. "Actually, we just received a very ingenious solution to that problem." She grabbed something from under the counter, which turned out to be a cage, and put it up on the counter. "This here cage has a spell triggered port-key like spell on it. I have another one in the back and all I have to do is put the animals wanted in, tap my wand on it and they will be transported to your corresponding cage. When ever you need to refill your stock, just tap the cage with your wand and a small notice will appear next to the cage in the back. It is therefore advisable to notify me a few days before you need the critters, just to be safe."

Harry smiled a genuine smile for once that afternoon. "That would be perfect. So how much is that?"

"That will be 86 galleons, 1 sickle and seven knuts."

While Harry fished out his money the witch went in the back to get the cages. She came back with two small box-like things that fit in the palm of her hand. "Here are the cages. They've been shrunk for your convenience, sir, just use an engorgement charm to revert them to their original size." She put both the cages and the owl treats in a bag and then walked over to the cage containing the snake. "Would you like a box for the snake or…?"

Harry looked the snake in the eye. "**What would you like, Smarg? Do you want to stay in a dingy box until we get home or would you prefer to curl yourself up under my clothes?**"

Smarg returned his look with an almost outraged look of his own. "**Do you even have to ask? Of course, I'm going to curl up, though I would prefer to not be bundled up under clothes.**"

Harry looked a tad upset. " b **I'm sorry but it can't be helped. If people saw you it would cause a panic and I really don't want to draw any more attention to myself**."

"**You have no need to be sorry, Erus. It is no fault of yours**."

Harry gave the snake a strange look "**Erus? Why do you call me Erus?**"

"**That is what I shall call you from now on. That is what you are to me.**"

Harry shrugged and turned to the witch who had been staring at him with a look of awe, mixed with fear. "I won't be needing a box, thank you."

Harry opened the cage and gently picked up Smarg and held him up under his shirt so as to allow the snake to coil itself around his chest, with it's head just out of sight on his shoulder. Harry then turned to the witch, who was now openly gaping at him. "Thank you, and have a good day."

.:oOo:.

"**Erus, where are we going now?**" Smarg asked him when they were out of the shop.

"**Well, there is one shop in particular that I want to go to. I don't know how long it will take to finish in there so it may be the last shop of the day**," replied Harry as he strode back to Knockturn Alley, towards a shop he had noticed earlier.

At the corner of Diagon and Knockturn Alley, there was a tiny little shop that was barely noticeable. Above the shop door there was a sign: Magical Tattoo's and Piercings.

Harry had always longed to decorate his body but being surrounded by such conservative people, he had never dared. Well, now the time had come!

Harry entered the parlor, and headed strait for the walls, where there were pictures of all kinds of tattoo's available. All kinds of picture's with a magical connection; lions, snakes, wands, various magical creatures, along with the standard muggle types. But one picture in particular caught Harry's eye. It was of a Golden Snitch in flight. _That's what I want. It's perfect._

Harry turned toward the counter where a girl was sitting. She was about his age, but she was the most strange looking girl he had ever seen. She had some features that Cho had but instead of midnight black hair, it was the whitest snow-white, as was her skin. She had piercings all over the place; a stud in her nose, a ring in her lower left lip, a stud on each side of her lower lip and several in her ears, both rings and studs. She was wearing a bright pink top that cut rather low and where a bra would be under it, there was a black and white, polka dot material. She wore an extremely short, black, see through skirt with a lacy material on the edge. Underneath the skirt she wore black, very short shorts. On the back of them were bright pink frills in three horizontal lines. She wore black fish-net stockings and over them knee length black-and-pink striped shocks. On her feet were thick-bottomed mary-janes. Her extremely white hair was pulled partially into pigtails.

"Hi!" she said as he stared at her. "Find something you like?"

"Yeah, I have a few things I'd like to have done. I want to have a lot of piercings done, though I won't delude myself into believing I'll be able to handle them all at once. And I want that Snitch over there on my right hipbone."

She grinned at him. "All right, let's start with the piercings. I can do that but my father will have to do the tattoo, he owns the shop and is training me to take over."

She guided him over to a chair. "So, where do you want the piercings?"

"Well, I think today I'll just go with the right ear, the left corner of my lip and my tongue."

She gave him a look that he couldn't quite decipher. "Are you sure you want it in your _right_ ear? You do know what that means?"

Harry grinned his lopsided grin at her. "Yeah, and?"

"Oh, nothing. Just wanted to make sure you knew."

Harry got a far-off look on his face. "Yeah, I definitely know."

The girl grinned at him with a knowing look on her face. "I'm going to get my tools and tell my father to get his ready. I'll be right back. You just relax here."

Harry reclined into the chair and tried to relax. _Why the_ _hell did I have to start thinking of Sev right now! Judging by the look on_ her i _face_, mine _had a stupid, dopey look on it_.

The girl walked back into the room holding several silver, sharp-looking instruments. Harry gulped. The girl laughed.

"Don't worry, it will only hurt for a second."

Harry glowered at her. "They all say that."

"Hey, this is a _magical_ tattoo parlor. I'll heal it right after I do the piercing. Therefore, it _will_ only hurt for a second."

She grabbed his right ear and prepared it for the piercing. Then she positioned the needle. Harry looked into her eyes. "What's your name?"

She looked at him with an almost motherly look on her face. "Salvör." Then she plunged the needle through his ear.

"YEOW!" She put a standard silver hoop through his ear. Then she whipped out her wand and tapped it against his ear, muttering "_Sanare_."

"See, that wasn't so bad," she grinned at him.

Harry glared back at her. "What kind of name is Salvör? No offence."

"It's Icelandic. My mother was from Iceland." She saw the look on his face. "If you're wondering, yes, I get most of my looks from my father. He's Japanese."

Salvör then grabbed his tongue with a pair of tong's, pulled it out and prepared it for the piercing. Harry stared at her with a rather freaked out look. She looked him strait in the eye and then plunged the needle through his tongue. This time Harry managed not to yell quite as loud, though this may have been on account of the needle sticking through his tongue. Salvör the stuck the barbell through the hole and then healed him up. She then repeated the process on his lip, putting a bead ring there.

"Alright!" she grinned at him. "The easy part is done."

Harry stared at her. "The _easy_ part?"

"Yeah, 'cuz the tattoo's are magical, they have to be done without healing magic. Also if you have any glamours, maybe hiding the big, red pimple on your nose, then they have to come off."

Harry froze. Come off! Oh shit…

Harry chuckled nervously. "Errmm… on second thought, maybe I'll get that done later." He started to back away but Salvör grabbed his arm. "Look, it's really not that bad. And if you have any horrible disfigurations, then I promise I won't laugh." She dragged him over to the chair.

"No, that's not… Oh, Merlin, how am I… I'm Harry Potter!" he blurted out.

Salvör looked a little stunned. "Ok… not quite what I was expecting but what the hell." She leaned in and stage whispered. "I won't tell anybody that the perfect Harry Potter is getting a tattoo if you don't."

A soft smile broke out on Harry's face. "Thanks, Salvör"

"No problem, Harry. So take off those glamours. I want to see what you really look like."

Harry looked at her as he waved his wand and his glamours fell.

"Well, not bad. So, tell me, who's the guy?"

Harry jumped. "W-what do you mean?"

She gave him a disbelieving look. "Please, Harry. When I asked you whether you knew what having a piercing in the right ear, you drifted off and were a million miles away. So _obviously_, there's someone."

Harry sighed. "Yeah, there's someone. But it will _never_ happen, so I just need to forget him and move on."

"Well, now, don-"

"No, really. It will never happen. Because A) he hates me and B) he's my teacher."

Salvör winced. "Ouch."

"Yeah, tell me about. I just need to find me another guy to fall for and" _hopefully_ "I'll forget all about him."

Salvör got a gleam in her eye at this, which got Harry a bit worried but since she didn't say anything he let it go.

"Where _is_ my father?" She went in the back and came back with a Japanese man in his late forties who was holding various instruments.

"Good Afternoon, Mr. Potter," he greeted with only a barely noticeable accent. "So you want the Snitch tattoo."

"Yes, sir. On my right hipbone."

.:oOo:.

An hour later, Harry was paying up with a very sore hipbone. "Hey, Salvör, you wouldn't know of any places where I can buy some clothes. Kind of like yours, except maybe for guys. Well, you know kind of punk or something like that."

"Sure Harry. Tell you what, owl me when your hip feels better and I'll take you to London. We'll make a day of it."

Harry grinned at her. "That'd be cool. Thanks, I'll see you."

She smiled back. "Yeah, take care of yourself Harry." And he walked out the door of the small shop.

As he was waiting in the line for the apparition point in The Leaky Cauldron that he felt a hand on his arm and he was swung roughly around, only to stare into the glowering face of one Severus Snape.

"Potter! What are you doing here? And… what have you done to your face?"

Harry glared at him. "That's none of your business! Now leave me alone!" Thankfully it was his turn and he was able to apparate away.

Tbc…


	4. Chapter 4 : Sorrows of the Heart

**And It Hits The Fan**

**Kat Potter**

**Disclaimer** : Does not belong to me. Not making any money.

**Ok, I will answer reviews if I think that they have important questions that need to be answered. I don't like reading fics that spend half the chapter responding to the reviews and I won't do it to mine. So if you want an answer, ask me something important. Thus far I have only received one of those**.

**antipyro** - Squeeee! Thank you soo much for that review, it means a lot to me. Now as for your questions (and boy were there a lot D): The name Erus will be explained all in due time. You'll just have to sit and wait evil grin. As for the Auror robes, that was one of the things that had me stuck for a while. I wasn't sure whether to add that part or not. In the end I decided to leave it, as you can see. Auror robes (in my head, at least) have lots of charms and things that repel at least minor curses, that's why Harry wanted them. Also, another reason I left it was to show that Harry can't get everything he wants even if he _is_ Harry Potter. He may get them later in the story, he may not. We'll just have to see what the Green Fairy living in my head (read muse) says about it. Oh, and as for her eating habits, she really likes anything sweet and fajitas with lots of spicy salsa, but the healthiest thing for her is lots of yummy reviews. They're like vegetables for Green Fairy's.

Ahhh! Almost forgot, more info about the snake (omg I almost wrote snape! Haha!) soon. Probably the next chapter or the one after.

And the glamour. **Harry put on his glamour in Chapter One before he left home**. grin Go check it out.

**Chapter Four – Sorrows of the Heart**

Severus stared at the place where his mate had been a few moments before. To the people around him, he didn't look fazed at all. Well, apart from the fact that he was staring off into space. No, Severus Snape seemed just as unapproachable as usual. But Severus was a man that had perfected his mask many years ago and at that moment it was threatening to slip for the first time in years.

_The look in his eyes!_ he thought. _The utter loathing and hate in his eyes! Oh Gods, I can't take this! I need him, my mate, my perfect, little, adorable, brave, stupidly Gryffindor-ish, sexy, absolutely eatable Harry._

His jaw clenched and he took a few steps backwards before apparating away.

.:oOo:.

Severus appeared again just outside the gates of Hogwarts, and headed straight for his quarters. Thankfully meeting no one on his way, as soon as he was inside, he made his way towards his liquor cabinet. He poured himself a tumbler full of Old Ogden's Fire Whiskey, gulped it down and poured himself another. Then he walked over to his magically powered cd-player and put on his favorite song of all time, mostly because it described so perfectly how he felt. The absolute terror that Harry would never be his. As the first, almost haunting notes of the song began playing he threw himself into his favorite chair to brood.

_Oh, My Love, My Darling, _

_I've hungered for your touch a long, lonely time_

_Time goes by so slowly and Time can do so much._

_Are you still mine?_

As Severus sat there listening to the beautifully sad song, the tears began slowly pouring down his face. At first it was just one by one, but soon there was a steady flow down his face.

_I need your love,_

_I need your love,_

_God speed your love, to me_

Oh, how he needed his Harry with him. It was eating him up inside.

_Lonely rivers sigh,_

_Wait for me, wait for me_

_I'll be coming home, wait for me!_

After seeing the look on his Harry's face, he felt like giving up all hope. The song playing around him, straight to his soul hit the main part that made him feel even worse and yet somehow better, for it was such a beautiful song.

_Oh, my love, my darling,_

_I've hungered for your touch a long, lonely time,_

_Time goes by so slowly and time can do so much._

_Are you still mine?_

_I need your love, _

_I need your love, _

_God speed your love, to me..._

The man that most people didn't think had a heart buried his face in his hands and sobbed his heart out.

.:oOo:.

Albus Dumbledore sat at his desk going through some papers when he heard a sound remarkably like the horrible sound Umbridge tended to make. He looked up and saw a stern, proper looking man staring down at him from one of the portraits on the wall.

"Ah, Xerxes, what brings you here? You do not often venture out of your own painting, after all," Dumbledore asked with the usual twinkle in his eye.

Xerxes answered him briskly, "Nothing good, I'm afraid. My descendant is down in his quarters, trying to drown himself in alcohol and listening to that horrid, sappy love song that he insists on listening to as often as possible."

Albus's face fell. "Oh, dear. I had best go down and check on him."

"I do suggest you do, before he completely dehydrates. Soon, there will be a lake in his quarters and I'd rather my portrait did not get wet." The man then strode out of the painting, most likely heading back to his own.

Albus Dumbledore sighed and hoisted himself up, heading for the dungeons.

.:oOo:.

When Dumbledore entered Severus's quarters, he was met by the sight of the vampire slumped in his chair, staring unseeingly at his fire, tear tracks glistening on his cheeks. Several almost empty bottles of whiskey sat on the table beside him.

"Alb'us," the vampire slurred at him. "What'r you doon here?"

Albus looked at him sorrowfully as he walked over to him. "My dear boy. What happened?"

Severus looked him blearily in the eye. "It's useless, Alb'us. He hates me. My life…" he drew in a shuddering breath, "…is over."

"Now, now, I'm sure it's not hopeless. You just have to talk to him as an equal, instead of snapping at him like you're used to do him. You snapped at him didn't you, Severus?"

Severus stared in the other direction and didn't answer.

"I thought as much. So he snapped back and your life is over…" Snape nodded. "Well, my boy, you can't expect him to fall for you if you treat him like that. You have to be _nice_. He is your mate after all."

Severus turned around and looked at Albus with a pleading look in his eye. "But it's so _hard_," he whined.

Albus sighed. "I think it's time for a sobering charm. _Sobrius_."

Severus leaned back with a horrified look on his face. "Did I just _whine_? Dear Merlin." He buried his face in his hands.

Albus chuckled. "Yes, you do tend to be a bit of a Drama Queen when your are intoxicated, Severus."

"Thank you, Albus," Severus muttered from behind his hands. "Now, if you would please leave me alone. To get over the… hurt, if you will." Severus looked up. "It gnaws at my heart and I would like to be able to get over it in private."

"Suit yourself, my boy. You know where to find me, if you ever need to talk."

"I'll remember that," Severus muttered as the headmaster walked out the door.

.:oOo:.

A few days after his foray into Diagon Alley, Harry felt much better in his hip and decided to owl Salvör. He sat down at his desk, grabbed a quill and parchment and began writing.

_Dear Salvör,_

_It's me, Harry. Well, my hip is feeling a lot better and I was wondering if you would like to go clothes shopping with me. You said you could help me with my fashion disaster, so owl me when you're available._

_Yours truly,_

_Harry Potter_.

Harry read it over. _Hmm… It's a little formal. Well, it'll have to do. It's not like we're age old friends anyways._

He walked over to Hedwig's cage tied the letter to her leg.

"Take this to Salvör Liung, Hedwig." She nipped him lightly on the ear, as if to say i _All right, will do_. /i 

He thought to himself that it was a good thing that he was a wizard and healed fast. If he'd been a muggle then it would have taken _forever_ to heal.

A couple of hours later, Hedwig returned with a letter tied to her leg. He removed it, handed her an owl treat and sat down to read it.

_Hey Harry!_

_Oh, I'd love to go shopping with you! You know, every girl needs a gay friend to go shopping with! So, can you come tomorrow afternoon? We can meet at the Leaky Cauldron and head into London from there. Owl me your answer!_

_Your freaky friend,_

_Salvör_

_P.S. Do you mind if a friend of mine comes with? He was so jealous that I had met The Harry Potter. (He's really cute D You'll like him!)_

As Harry read his letter, Smarg slid from his enormous cage in the corner, which had the door open, and looked over Harry's shoulder.

"**Erus, what are you reading?**"the snake asked, flicking out his tongue to taste the air.

"**It's a letter from Salvör. You remember her?**"

"**Ah, yes. The strange girl. I like her, she is very nice but I would rather not be around all the awful instruments she had.**"

Harry laughed. "**So, that's why you didn't come out? I wondered.**"

Smarg huffed, if snakes could do that. "**Well, they're very scary. How was I to know that she wouldn't use them to make potions ingredients out of me?**"

Harry giggled but then sobered. "**Don't worry, Smarg. You're mine now and I won't let anyone hurt you**."

Smarg flicked his tongue over Harry's face. "**It is good that you are my Erus.**"

"**So, do you wish to come with us tomorrow? We are going to buy clothes for me.**"

"**That would be nice. I can protect you that way.**"

Harry stared at his snake. "**I don't need protection.**" but the snake didn't answer.

.:oO:.

Harry apparated to the Leaky Cauldron the next afternoon and strode over to the corner where he saw Salvör sitting, obviously waiting.

"Hi, Harry!" she greeted him. Today she was wearing a black and white dress that looked like it belonged on a doll from the nineteenth century. The dress itself was all black and went down to just above her knees. The shirt, which was underneath the dress was white and went to about ¾ down her upper arm. Both the dress and shirt were very frilly and covered in lace. She was once again wearing thick-bottomed mary janes and her socks, which were white, looked much too big. On her head was a tiny, light-pink hat that was attached with a ribbon, which looked as if it fit a doll. She also had a furry, light-pink bag that had a black bow on the front. All in all, she looked very unusual.

"Erm, hi, Salvör. Nice outfit," he stammered out, while trying not to stare to obviously.

She grinned at him. "Don't you think? It's called Lolita, very popular in Japan. My Dad and me stayed there a few years ago and I got hooked on the fashion there, very interesting. Oh, by the way, my friend, Evan, is going to be a little late. You don't mind do you?"

"Oh, no, not at all," said Harry. At that moment Smarg decided to come out, sticking his head out from under Harry's collar.

"Oh, wow, Harry! That's a gorgeous snake," she cooed.

"Thanks, his name's Smarg."

"Oh, yeah. I forgot you're a parselmouth," she said with a look that said _Man! Can I be stupid or what!_ Harry just grinned, happy that his new friend didn't mind.

"So, what kind of snake is he?"

Harry was glad now that he had bought the snake book in Knockturn Alley. "He's a Green Mamba, though of the magical type. Highly toxic," he grinned at her.

They talked some more while they waited for Salvör's friend to arrive. For a while Salvör had been rubbing her eye as if it was bothering her. All of a sudden she clutched at it.

"Damn it! My contact fell out! Can you help me find it, Harry? Can't see a thing without them," she said with one eye closed.

"Sure, no problem."

So for the next few minutes, Harry crawled around the floor looking for the contact lens. He finally found it, straightened up and handed the lens to Salvör.

"Here you go," said Harry and looked her in the eye. His blood ran cold as he saw a blood red eye staring back at him from where the contact had fallen out.

Tbc…

There finished chappie 4! Please don't kill me. It's short, I know, but I wanted to get it out before I left the country for a week and wouldn't be able to get anything done at all.

Also the song that Sev listens to is called _Unchained Melody_ by Rightous Brothers. It was, among other things, used in a very romantic scene between Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze in the movie _Ghos_. Please listen to it as it is one of the best love songs ever.


	5. Chapter 5 : Findings and Explainations

**cAnd It Hits The Fan **

**Kat Potter **

**Chapter Five – Findings and Explanations**

Salvör watched with a sad look in her eyes as Harry stared at her at first, as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing. Then slowly he started backing away, a look of growing horror and betrayal in his eyes.

"Harry, please, let me explain…" she tried to take a hold of his arm, but he flinched away from her and she noticed he was shaking his head so minutely, she could barely see it.

"Why?" he whispered. "Why do you have to do this to me? I thought that I had _finally_ found myself a real friend and it turns out she's got connections to You-Fucking-Who. So, … you been at it all your life or something? I know _he_ didn't get his all redand_lovely_ 'til he was _way_ older than you are."

Salvör looked like he had slapped her in the face. "You know, I thought you, of all people, would understand what it's like being different. People shunning you for something in your looks, something you can't control. I guess I was wrong."

"What?" Harry had a look of confusion and hurt on his face.

"What makes you think that the only way you can have red eyes is by fiddling with Dark Magic?"

"What do you mean?" Harry asked with dread in his voice, as if he didn't want to know the answer.

"I'm an albino, Harry Potter."

Harry blinked at her and she sighed.

"It means that I don't have any color pigments in my body. That's why my hair's white and my eyes red. They're not even really red, like a any other person would have blue or green or brown eyes, rather they're white like the rest of me but the red in my red blood cells are the only cells in my body that have color so the veins in my eyes make it look like they're red."

"Oh," he whispered as he shifted his gaze to the ground.

"Yeah."

Harry sank down into his seat, burying his face in his hands. "Oh Merlin, Salvör, I'm so, so sorry. God, I'm such an asshole… I just…" he took a deep breath that just barely held in a sob. Salvör knelt in front of him and ran her hands through his hair. Then she pried his hands from his face. He looked at her with deep, sorrow filled eyes. Her anger and sadness melted as she took in the regretful eyes and the lower lip being chewed with worry.

"It's ok, Harry. I can understand why you would be paranoid. I guess that's what happens when you've got a maniacal tyrant after your ass," she said with a wry grin.

"You meant it? You're really going to forgive me for being a grade A asshole?" he looked at her with hope in his eyes and she enveloped him a hug.

"Hey, I know you're not perfect, nobody is. We all make mistakes. The important thing is to learn from them." She pulled back and looked straight into his eyes. "And that was the corniest thing I've ever said in my entire life." He giggled at her.

The tension having been broken, they both stood up. "So," said Harry, "where's your friend?"

"He's right here," said a voice behind Harry. He turned around; only to be faced with one of the finest specimens of the male human being he had ever laid his eyes on. The guy had short, spiky, bleach-blond hair, deep brown eyes and a killer smile. He was wearing form-fitting, dark blue jeans, black, converse, old-fashioned basketball sneakers and a not-quite-skin-tight, orange Che Guevara t-shirt. _That has to be one of the yummiest guys I've ever seen._ **_Not as yummy as Snape,_** the evil voice in his head remarked with an equally evil grin. _Look, me and Snape ever hooking up is about as likely to happen as Voldemort dressing up in a pink tutu and asking me to be his best-est best friend! This is my chance to forget about Snape. So piss off and let me bungle my way through trying to seduce this guy._ The voice in his head went into a corner of his mind and sulked._Pfft, good riddance._

The guy extended his hand. "Evan Mathews. Pleased to meet you, Mister Potter."

Harry looked him straight in the eye, giving him the best seductive look he could muster, though he wasn't sure how effective it was. "You can call me Harry."

"So, boys!" Salvör exclaimed, as she hooked her arms with theirs. "We have a mission to complete. Operation: 'Foxy Clothes for Harry' is about to begin! Let's go!" Harry giggled at her again while Evan just rolled his eyes with a wry grin, obviously used to her quirky ways.

.:oOo:.

The first store they went to had a lot of torn jeans and tight leather pants. As they browsed, in other words Salvör and Evan picked clothes, Harry questioned Evan about himself. Turned out he was Salvör's cousin, but they were best friends as they had traveled together all over the world, as their father's, who were brothers, were business partners. Harry also had a hunch that he was gay. Which was good as Harry had every intention of seducing him. When they had a couple of pairs of pants and some shirts, they headed towards the dressing rooms. Salvör instructed Harry on which clothes to try on first, which turned out to be a pair of extremely torn jeans and a Che Guevara shirt similar to the one Evan was wearing. When Harry had taken 10 minutes just to get dressed, they started to get restless.

"Harry! What the fuck is taking so long!" yelled Salvör.

"There's no way I can wear this!" They tore open the privacy screen to see a very red Harry with his back to the mirror, head craning back to see and hands covering his ass. He turned his head back around. "My _ass_ is showing!"

They both looked at him with a _look_.

"Harry that's kinda the point," said Evan. "Now let us see. Promise we won't laugh." He grinned at Harry, who just glared back at him and reluctantly released said body part.

"Good boy, Harry," said Salvör, as if she were talking to a three year old. "Now turn around and let us get a proper look." He reluctantly obeyed, controlling the impulse to re-cover his ass. Turned out there was a rip right by his left cheek and you could see a tiny hint of ass. That didn't prevent the jeans from framing it nicely.

Evan let out a low whistle. "That is one fine ass you got there, Harry. You sure you're still single?"

"Yes, unfortunately. But,… hopefully that will change in the very near future," he replied with a meaningful look.

"Well," said Salvör, "I'm gonna go look for some more clothes. Try these on while I'm at it, Harry." She handed him some tight, black leather pants and a fishnet top that had one strip of fabric that covered his nipples, for some modesty at least. Harry just stared at it.

"Come on, Harry, put them on," said Evan. "I'll bet you'll look really hot in them." Harry looked into Evans eyes to see a predatory look lurking there. "O-…Ok." He disappeared behind the curtain.

A few minutes later Evan heard him yell out. "I can't wear this!" He sighed. "What's wrong with this one?"

Harry pulled back the curtain and Evan felt a certain tightening in his pants and his mouth go dry.

"These pants are so low! If I sit down, my whole ass will fall out!"

Evan licked his lips as he looked Harry over. "Do you have any idea how you look?" Harry froze. "Erm,… no?"

Evan stepped closer and drew a finger lightly over Harry's chest. "Nice pec's, chiseled abs… and these muscles right here." He drew his fingers along the muscles that went from the middle of his side's and down to his groin. Then he looked Harry straight in the eye. "Extremely sexy." Harry gulped. He didn't know what to do. How does one respond to that!

"Then of course, there is the so-called treasure trail, right… here." He drew his finger along the hairs that led from his belly button and down into his pants, though he stopped where the pants started. Harry wasn't sure if he should be disappointed or not.

Harry gulped again, trying to keep his breathing normal and think of a response to that. "Erm…"

"Oh, Merlin," said Evan with a slightly embarrassed look on his face. "You're not gay, are you?"

"What? No! I mean, Yes! I am! Definitely. I'm just not… um… used to…"

"Your gay cherry hasn't been popped yet?"

"Uh, yeah…" Harry said with slight red tinge to his cheeks. _**Your cherry anything hasn't been popped**. Shut up, you. **Though, I know who you'd like to do the popping.**_ Harry could practically see his inner voice wiggling it's eyebrows at him lewdly and he promptly ignored it.

"Look," said Evan, "I have to go, I have work in about 20 minutes, but if you'd like to hang out, or go to a club, or something, then here's my number." He pulled a pen out of his pocket and jotted it down on Harry's hand.

Harry stared at Evan. "You have a phone!" He just grinned back at him and pulled a cell phone out of his pocket. "Muggles aren't completely useless."

Harry chuckled at him wryly. "Apperantly."

"So call me if you want and we'll do something."

At that moment Harry made a very important decision. "I think I will," he replied as he looked him straight in the eye.

"Lovely. Then I'll be seeing you." And he walked out the store.

Smarg made his way up Harry's body, curling into his usual place, head beneath Harry's ear. "You like this male, Erus?"

"Yes, I do."

Smarg seemed to ponder this. "I suppose he is an adequate male. But he does not smell right to me."

Tbc...

An: The shoes that Evan is wearing, if you don't know what I'm talking about, go watch Sin City. You can see Dwight, played by Clive Owen, wearing red ones when he jumps from the building.

An: Kudos to b Irihi Safaia /b and b Dangelic Fantasy /b ! Yay! You guessed it!


End file.
